


Feelings through Playlist

by DarkerParts



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Canon Compliant, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, Jihoon is hurt too, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Porn with Feelings, Soonhoon - Freeform, Soonyoung is hurt im so sorry, Top Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, howoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkerParts/pseuds/DarkerParts
Summary: Based my tweet:So let's say Soonhoon are fuck buddies, who realized they might have something more between each other. But they're both stupid so they misinterpreted everything wrong, and now they're brokenhearted. Cliche of the cliches 😌😌😌orIt's just Soonhoon based on their recent playlist.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	Feelings through Playlist

**Author's Note:**

> Hello? First I'm gonna apologize bcos this won't be pretty or gonna be a good story. It's just my head is getting full of stories I can't write so I'm powering through my writer's block even though the results would be shit. 
> 
> So...enjoy?

_"You still rely on me_

_And I still rely on you_

_For things that we shouldn't_

_You still rely on me_

_And I'm doing everything_

_That I said I wouldn't"_

  
Soonyoung really should've known. There's nothing casual with what they are doing. Not at the way Jihoon is beautifully naked, writhing on his sheets. Not at the way Jihoon moans out his name, singing it like a song in different tunes and Soonyoung has memorized what buttons to push to be able to hear him call his name like a prayer. There's nothing casual at the way jihoon willingly submits himself to him, welcoming every touch and every kiss. Craving for it and Soonyoung is the fool who always, always gladly give it to him. He really should've known. That he won't be able to keep his feelings at bay, that they won't forever be friends, when he's the only one who gets to hold, to touch, to worship Jihoon inside and out. He really should've known, that the moment Jihoon let him in, he'll fall deeply. Unknowingly.

  
"What got you thinking?" Tiredly, he welcomed Jihoon's warmth as their skin meets once again. Jihoon tends to get vulnerable after sex. It's like his hard exterior melts away and makes way for a soft and pliant Jihoonie. Clingy too. And Soonyoung, who has always reveled in skinship, usually appreciates the proximity. Not now though, when it starts to be a problem inside his head. 

"Just... dance stuffs" He lied. Something he found he has been doing so often these days. It's not like he wanted to. He just thinks... that white lies are needed when there's a lot at stakes. His feelings, for instance.

"Don't we just fucked to get these things out of our system?" Jihoon chuckled, but still he wrapped his arms around Soonyoung even more. His head tucked into his neck and hands rubbing circles on his chest, something Jihoon used to do when making him relax. However, it's not doing it's job right now. Soonyoung's mind racing at the fact that Jihoon knows a lot of things about him besides being friends and outside sex. And sure, that's something that's inevitable considering how they are afterall, bestfriends who lives in the same dorm, who works at the same company, who is in the same idol group. But his traitorous heart ached in both sadness and giddiness. How many of his tics, of his habits, of his secrets, has jihoon memorized? Is it the same way he knows everything about Jihoon except his feelings?

"Yeah, you're right. Are you gonna sleep here or?"

"Give me a few minutes, I'll get back to my room. I've got some songs to work out"

Soonyoung expected the answer. As it has always been like that. They never stay. Although they never discussed something of sorts, it just ended up like that. Jihoon not staying in his room, and him always leaving Jihoon's room after. There are rare occasions, where Soonyoung is reckless and a lot more rougher or jihoon is so fucked or wrecked, that they have no choice but to share the same bed for the night. But they ignore it and never say anything once the day comes.

  
"Can you send to me the newest edit of the title track though?" He asked once Jihoon's putting back his clothes, set on leaving. And as usual, Soonyoung has his eyes trained on the ceiling. Not wanting to see the door close behind him.

"Tonight? you're going back to work?"

"Hmmm" He can feel Jihoon's gaze burning on his way, but he still refused to move his eyes.

"No. You're gonna rest tonight, and do it tomorrow. I'll send it first thing in the morning"

Soonyoung wants to argue. Because there's still this restless energy inside of him that he can't get rid of. It crawls on his skin, making him uncomfortable on his own body. He doesn't know how to get away from it. Atleast when he's dancing, he can escape for awhile.

"Okay" He muttered, caving in. He sighed and looked at Jihoon, and he was startled out of his wits when he found Jihoon still staring at him. There's a sharpness in his eyes and Soonyoung knows that he's trying to read him. He would've been nervous except that Soonyoung knows how to block people out when he wants to.

It's a talent he learned awhile ago. He can be honest and wear his feelings on his sleeves for everyone to see. But he also learned how to hide his ugliest insecurities, damaged parts he doesn't want people to see, thoughts that he only wants to keep. His members weren't kidding when they said that out of thirteen of them, he's the first one who would cut you out if he ever feel the need to. And he'd quite gotten good on doing it.

"Are you okay, soons?" 

  
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay"

  
_And for some reason, he has been blocking jihoon out._

* * *

_"this doesn't have to change anything between us"_

_"What do you mean? Ji, we fucked. That's something friends do not do!"_

_"But you liked it!"_

_"That doesn't mean I won't regret it! What would happen if the company finds out? They might never let us debut!"_

_"Look, Soonyoung. They don't have to know? It stays in between us. We're hormonal teenagers who's burdened and pressured with a lot of things. What's wrong with letting it out?"_

_"By fucking?"_

_"Yeah, why not? I trust you. You trust me. We're kind of the foundation of this group, anyway. We might as well help each other out in any way we can."_

_"and that includes fucking each other?"_

_"If it helps in lessening the tension and help us relax. Why the hell not?"_

  
_Soonyoung should've said no._

  
_But he didn't_

* * *

"You've been spending a lot of time with Hannie hyung" Soonyoung heard Jihoon through the intercom. He looked up the glass window, and found Jihoon staring on the lyric sheets quite intently.He shrugged and continued to fix his mic.

He got held back by the choreographer, something in the title track doesn't add up so they spent another few hours correcting one single move to make it flow smoothly with the rest of the song. He was supposed to record his parts earlier. But he only got out now and immediately went to Jihoon's studio, hoping there would be others left. But to his demise, the members already went home and now he gets to have another one on one recording with Jihoon.

"Hmmm, he likes to indulge me" He answered distractedly as his eyes skimmed through his own copy of the lyrics.

"Does he now?" There's a slight edge of bitterness in his tone that Soonyoung's sure he didn't even try to mask. Soonyoung put down the sheets to look at Jihoon, and just as expected, he's bent over his table. Hands gripping his pen tightly, little frowns set on his forehead, his body tensed and hunched on himself.

Soonyoung sighed deeply. Wondering what happened at the recording earlier to make Jihoon this... frustrated? agitated?

"You okay, ji?" He asked softly, afraid to further worsen whatever Jihoon's state is. He only received a terse nod in response and Jihoon telling him where to start his verse.

By the eight time Soonyoung has to repeat the song because according to Jihoon, he can't quite feel the emotion in his voice despite Soonyoung hitting the right tone and giving his all, he finally had enough. Jihoon is obviously not gonna back down and Soonyoung really doesn't have the patience right now.

  
"That's it. I want you naked on the couch now" He growled, but Jihoon only growled back at him.

"I am not moving anywhere, until we finish this" Jihoon stubbornly spit through the intercom and Soonyoung is one step away from picking him up himself, and throw him on the couch. But consent.

"Lee Jihoon"

"Not now, Kwon"

"Then use the fucking safeword. You either go up on the couch or say your safeword" 

They had a heated staring contest. Even through the glassed window, Soonyoung can feel the waves of aggression coming from Jihoon's body.

"Fine" Jihoon removed his shirt still glaring at Soonyoung. And slowly he backed away to the couch. Undressing on the way there, not caring where his clothes would land.

Soonyoung sighed again and bite his lips. He really should stop doing. They really should stop doing this. But he can't. Especially when he knows that it's something Jihoon's body needs. That it's something that would help Jihoon. And if there's one thing he can't resist doing, it's to take care of him. _Because he's fucking in love with him._

  
Soonyoung ended up recording at 3 in the morning. He had made sure to tire Jihoon out, being extra mean and cruel before letting him have his way. Just as expected, Jihoon's body sang the way he wanted it. Like a soft candy, molding the way Soonyoung wanted it. He had fucked him rough at first, making him cum untouched on the couch. And when he can still feel the tension in Jihoon's body, he made him ride him to another orgasm and finally slowly fucked to a third one from him until he all but fell asleep on Soonyoung.

* * *

_"Hey, ji. Why me?"_

  
_"Huh?"_

  
_"You could've asked someone else to fuck you"_

_"I'm comfortable with you and you know me the best. Besides, I know you won't fall in love with me"_

_"Is that a bad thing? People falling in love with you?"_

_"It is when I can't give the slightest fuck to reciprocate"_

_"Don't you want to fall in love?"_

_"Do we look like we're allowed to fall in love? We're gonna debut in a month, soons. It'll only be a scandal. And I really don't want to be the bad guy for not loving someone back just because they love me."_

  
_"What if I fall in love with you?"_

_"Will you?"_

_"I dunno? We never know"_

_"You shouldn't."_

* * *

But Soonyoung fell, anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways, this is just literally a product of Soonhoon's playlist and I did this drabble while I'm working. So srsly, I know it when I said this isn't pretty.
> 
> I'm thinking of posting this in 4 different parts even though it can stand alone anyway. Again it's just some kind of drabble so.... mehhh.
> 
> Scream at me in twt @WeShipAndWeSail


End file.
